Lessons in Crime edited by Martin Edwards

As soon as I heard about this collection of mysteries set in academia, I knew I had to get my hands on a copy. Lessons in Crime contains 15 short stories that span just shy of a century of crime writing. There are stories set in day schools, boarding schools, elite universities, and in adult education centres. Inside this book you will find stories by well-known writers of crime fiction, like Arthur Conan Doyle and Dorothy L. Sayers, and a few you might not have heard of before, like Miriam Sharman, whose story “Battle of Wits” most certainly did not aid me in falling asleep when I read it before bed. Although, I tried to savour it, I absolutely inhaled this collection. Thank goodness for rereading. 

“The Greek Play” by H.C. Bailey (1932)

Mr. Fortune and his wife have been invited by her goddaughter to a performance of Antigone being put on by her school. Commonly thought of as the girls equivalent of Eton, this elite school, populated by girls of the gentry, has recently started accepting scholarship students, much to the disgust of many of the students, not to mention the snobbish adults connected with the school. One girl in particular has been having a pretty rough time of it, which is why the goddaughter has invited “the Cherub”—as she refers to Reggie. She senses that something is brewing, though she doesn’t know what, but she wants to Reggie on the spot when the pot boils over.

“The Adventure of the Priory School” by Arthur Conan Doyle (1904)

Sherlock Holmes is called to the north of England to investigate the disappearance of the son of the Duke of Holdernesse from his school. It is very clever but there is a lot in the way of explanation from someone other than Watson. We are meant to assume Sherlock has already figured out and I just found the conclusion a bit clunky.

“The Missing Undergraduate” by Henry Wade (1933)

Detective Inspector John Poole is called down to Oxford to investigate the disappearance of an undergraduate. Having attended Oxford himself, he knows his way around and heads straight to St. Peter’s College. The investigation takes him all over Oxford and London coming to an unexpected, and eventful, climax. I loved this one!

“The Gilded Pupil” by Ethel Lina White (1936)

“The essential part of this tale is that Ann Shelley was an Oxford M.A.” (115)

Ann Shelley takes the position of governess to a millionaire’s 15-year-old daughter, Stella. Stella is unruly and unwashed, but with an above average intelligence. This one was smart and fun. Stella, Ann, and Ann’s old governess prove their wits against a gang of baddies. So good!

“Murder at Pentecost” by Dorothy L. Sayers (1933)

Montague Egg, wine salesman, insert himself into a conversation he overhears between two Oxford men. After which he asks the way to Pentecost College, where he plans to make a sale. One of the men, Radcott, informs him that the master of the college has been murdered. In this one we see some of the inner workings of the Oxford colleges. While, I am a fan of Dorothy L . Sayers’ Lord Peter Wimsey stories, Montague Egg does not feel like a caricature—as I hate to admit—Wimsey often does.

As someone who has spent a lot of time in academic libraries trying to get work done, while being driven to distraction by loud talkers, I found this part particularly funny. 

“Prove it, if you like. Take my gown, toddle across to the Bodder, march straight in past the showcases and through the little wicket marked ‘Readers Only’, into Duke Humphrey’s Library; do what you like, short of stealing the books or setting fire to the place and if anybody says anything to you, I’ll order six dozen of anything you like. That’s fair, isn't it?”

Mr. Egg accepted this offer with alacrity, and in a few moments, arrayed in a scholar’s gown, was climbing the stair that leads to England’s most famous library. With a slight tremor, he pushed open the swinging glass door and plunged into the hallowed atmosphere of mouldering leather that distinguishes such temples of learning.

Just inside, he came upon Dr. Moyle in conversation with the doorkeeper. Mr. Egg, bending nonchalantly to examine an illegible manuscript in a showcase, had little difficulty in hearing what they said, since like all official attendants upon reading-rooms, they took no trouble to lower their voices. (145)

I love that idea that a person could just swan their way into the Duke Humfrey’s Library. Too fun!

As a side note, the correct spelling of Duke Humfrey’s Library appears to be with an “f”, not a “ph” as it appears in the above quotation. However, the library is named after Humphrey of Lancaster, 1st Duke of Gloucester (1390-1447). I have no idea why the spelling is different, but I would love to find out. Perhaps, I need to devote more than five minutes researching it.

“Randolph Hall” by Michael Gilbert (2000)

This one reads like a very well executed children’s adventure story. After a suspected attempted break-in at Ranulph Hall Preparatory School for Boys, three school boys Colin, Ivo and Drew—who refer to themselves as the CID—decide to take matters into their own hands. There is a gun fight between the boys and during a second break-in. When the school calls in their lawyers, to make certain it is lawful to shoot as burglars. Soon it is discovered a famous diamond that went missing 15 years ago is thought to be hidden somewhere in the school. A hunt to find the diamond commences, so it can be returned to its rightful owner before the baddies put in another appearance. 

“The Field of Philippi” by E.W. Hornung (1905)

A group of Old Boys return to their school for the Founder’s Day festival. Among the festivities is the Old Boy’s Match, and one of the Old Boys who will be playing in the match is a professional cricket player. I know next to nothing about cricket, but you do not need to know a thing about cricket to enjoy this story. This has all the elements of a boarding school story with old resentments—which get resolved by the end—sneaking out of the dormitories, and pulling one over on the Head. I loved that this is another one from this collection that does not have a murder and to be honest the plot reminded me of something that would happen in a P.G. Wodehouse story. The mystery is light, heartwarming, and just good fun.

“Lesson in Anatomy” by Michael Innes (1946)

This one was fairly bonkers. Fun, but bonkers. At Nessfield University, Professor Finlay’s final anatomy lecture of the year is known for getting a bit wild. Known for being an excellent teacher, it is only in the final lecture that he gives into his flair for the dramatic, and the students do enjoy playing up to it! 

For the lecture was at once a festival, a rag, and a genuine display of virtuosity. It took place in this large anatomy theatre. Instead of disjointed limbs and isolated organs there was a whole new cadaver for the occasion. And upon this privileged corpse Finlay rapidly demonstrated certain historical developments of his science to an audience in part attentive and in part concerned with lowering skeletons from the rafters, releasing various improbable living creatures—lemurs and echidnas and opossums—to roam the benches, or contriving what quainter japes they could think up. On one famous occasion the corpse itself had been got at, and at the first touch of the professor’s scalpel had awakened to an inferno of noise presently accounted for by the discovery that its inside consisted chiefly of alarm clocks. Nor were these diversions and surprises all one-sided, since Finlay himself, entering into the spirit of the occasion, had more than once been known to forestall his students with some extravagance of his own. (196)

It is not just the setting of this one that is ridiculous, the motivation for the crime is… let’s just say, odd. It was a fun read, but I think I would have enjoyed it more if the conclusion had not felt so far removed from the initial premise.

“Dover Goes to School” by Joyce Porter (1978)

This one has a slightly disorienting beginning. 

Detective Chief Inspector Dover was a creature of habit. Whenever he entered a room he made a point of selecting the most comfortable-looking seat and heading straight for it. On this occasion, as he waddled across the threshold of the large old-fashioned bathroom at Skelmers Hall College, he was not embarrassed by choice.

The rim of the bath was definitely out and he didn't fancy the three-legged stool. That left only one place where 241 pounds of flab could be safely deposited, and the Chief Inspector sank gratefully onto the oval of polished mahogany. That flight of stairs up from the ground floor had taken it out of him. (221)

I think we can imagine where Dover is sitting. The question is, why are we following this man into the bathroom? And why does it appear that he is merely there to hang out? As well as providing some insight into Dover’s character, this next part explains things for us.

It was Inspector Howard’s first encounter with members of the prestigious Murder Squad and he was understandably somewhat diffident. Still, a man had to do what a man had to do. He cleared his throat. “Er—excuse me, sir.”

Dover’s mean little eyes opened slowly and balefully. “What?”

“Your—er—feet, sir.”

“What about ‘em?”

“They’re resting on the—er—body, sir.”

Dover glanced down and with ill grace shifted his boots back a couple of inches from the corpse that lay sprawled, in pyjamas and dressing gown, over the bathroom floor. “Thought you were supposed to be telling us what’s happened,” he observed nastily. (221-22)

And that about sums up Dover. He is a fairly awful individual who takes as much pleasure in being unpleasant to his suspects as he does in his food and drink. Oh, and in his cigarettes. After smoking his colleague’s on the way to the scene, he has no qualms about absolving a woman from suspicion who he is about to interview when she offers him the rest of her pack.. 

Enough about Dover. Although, his presence does dominate this story, I shall try to put him to the side. 

A man is found strangled in the bathroom of Skelmers Hall College, an Adult Education Centre. As the victim is a well-known building contractor and a County Councillor, not to mention a massive flirt, there are a number of suspects, basically everyone who was in the college overnight, in fact.

I cannot say I grew to love Dover over the course of this story, but I did enjoy how disagreeable he was to everyone around him. And he does get his collar in the end, so he’s not a complete idiot either.

“When the Deaf Can Hear” by Malcolm Gair (1959)

This one was very short, so I don’t want to say too much. Some money is missing from a locked room at a school, known as the Turf Room, which is part of the cricket pavilion. Only a small group of students who had access to the Turf Room knew of the money. A detective is called in by the headmaster, who is particularly disappointed in the events because of his fondness for cricket.

“Low Marks for Murder” by Herbert Harris (1973)

This one is very simple. George Faraday, the languages master plans to kill the headmaster of the school, Dr. Theodore Whittington. Faraday is having an affair with Whittington’s wife, Rhona. But it is not just his passion for Rhona that motivates Faraday. The man fancies being given the position of assistant head, which Whittington has put a stop to, not because he suspects Faraday is having an affair with his wife, but because he simply does not like the Faraday. And as Faraday plants to kill Whittington, I would say he shows very good judgment.

There was a surprisingly racy part in this story, which I would not have expected to find in a British Library Crime Classic. However, it is perfectly suited to crime fiction of the seventies and section I found surprising was merely one sentence long.

“The Harrowing of Henry Pygole” by Colin Watson (1974)

Two boys in sixth form plot a practical joke to get back at one of the boys in their form, Henry Pygole.

Henry Pygole was one of those people who make cleverness offensive by wrapping it up in humility. There was always a sort of dubious smile on his face, as if he knew he was going to make a balls-up of whatever happened to be on hand at the moment. He didn’t, of course. He came tops. Time after time. In everything. But he forever had that droopy, self-deprecating air.

One remembers particularly how diffident dear Henry looked on the afternoon of the inter-house tennis finals. That was the day when Sweet and I decided that something would have to be done about him. (276)

This story did not at all go where I was expecting. It was fabulously shocking.

“Dog in the Night-time” by Edmund Crispin (1954)

This was a clever little mystery. Still grieving her father’s death, Ann Cargill asks her professor, Gervase Fen, Professor of English Language and Literature at Oxford, to accompany her in the opening of her father’s safe. Her father’s solicitor died before getting the grant of probate of the will, and Ann’s uncle, who been made her guardian, has also been made administrator of the estate in her behalf. 

“I’m probably being several sorts of a fool,” said Ann, as soon as they were settled with glasses in their hands. “But here goes, anyway... I don’t know if you know anything about my family, but my mother died years ago. I’m an only child, and my father—well, the important thing about him, for the moment, is that he had a passion for jewels.

“Jewels weren’t his business. They were his hobby. And two or three months ago he sank an enormous amount of money—about three-quarters of his capital, I should think—into buying a single diamond that he’d set his heart on, a huge thing, quite flawless.” (295)

Don’t you just love the idea of someone’s “hobby” being jewels?! And not just researching jewels, but buying them! Like I said at the outset, this one was clever.

“Battle of Wits” by Miriam Sharman (1967)

Told in just one scene, this is a thrilling story that could have come straight out of a Hitchcock film. A father calls on the headmaster of his son’s former school after his son has been expelled. I read this right before bed and I can tell you I have never felt less sleepy while reading when horizontal.

“The Boy Who Couldn’t Read” by Jacqueline Wilson (1978)

It’s the first day of term after the Christmas holiday, and Mr. Croft decides to go easy on the 2As by reading to them from Enid Blyton’s The Mountain of Adventure. But David Bates prefers spending the time surreptitiously reading a book on astronomy. When Mr. Croft catches David, the teacher is most unpleasant, telling the boy to stop pretending, everyone knows he can’t read. With 10 minutes left until the end of class, Mr. Croft asks the children to draw a picture based on the story. Everyone but David hands one in, and Mr. Croft is none too happy about it. 

If you are sensitive to stories about children being treated poorly by adults, or just generally treated unfairly, this might be a hard read. But I assure you, it all turns out right in the end. 

This is my first time reading anything by Jacqueline Wilson. I know she is popular for her children’s fiction, and this story was so gripping that I feel like her other writing must be equally well-done. If you are reading this and you have read any of her novels, please let me know if there are any you can recommend.

And that is part of what makes me love these short story collections from British Library Publishing. Both the Crime Classics and the Women Writers series have such great collections of short stories. I always come away with at least a couple authors to bookmark for further discovery.

Thank you to British Library Publishing for kindly sending me a copy of Lesson in Crime for review. As always, all opinions on the book are my own.

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